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Two Little Awakenings - 2005 re-release Lyrics
© Steve Unruh

Masterlist of Lyrics     T.L.A. page



	
Scenes from the Mirror
World, Awake
Two Little Awakenings
From the Flowered Chair
Resolution



Scenes from the Mirror Ė 17:11

Ten a.m., the baby starts crying
Little hands reaching out for the one not there
Mother tells herself she canít hear him
One year old, the lessons begin

10:05, the baby stops crying
Little hands giving up, thereís no one there
Mother doesnít let herself get too near him

Five years old in first grade
He can see the lines, he can draw the lines
Teacher looks down, tells him
ďjust five minutes more, youíll have it fineĒ
Five years and five minutes more he sees
that he cannot draw the lines
Throwing down the crayon,
ďI canít do this and itís not worth the time!Ē

Every minute learning his new limitations, failed imitations
ďWhat more canít I do today, what more canít I do today?Ē
Every minute running up against the expectations

Hey, where are you going Jessie,
Just who do you think you are?
Jessie wanders home, not in a hurry
Stopping on the sidewalk picking acorns from the grass
Watching all the other kids in newer-model autos pass

Every minute learning his new limitations, failed imitations
ďWhat more canít I do today, what more canít I do today?Ē
Every minute running up against the expectations

Turning six years old to the soundtrack of closing doors
Turning six years old to find heís drawn the losing score
Turning six years old to find thereís really nothing waiting for him

Nine years ago you had hope in your life
Nine years ago you had hope in your living
Nine years ago you were brought in this world,
now youíre kicking and screaming
But nine years ago you had hope in your life

Nine years ago there was no one there stealing
Taking away your new baseball and glove
Nine years ago there was no one to make you so angry youíd hit them
And nine years ago you would not have shed blood

But this is the world you live in and this is realityís pain
This is the way you must fight off
the ones who would slander your name
This is the battle youíre thrown into,
this is the burning inside
This is the cost of the concrete and this is the warriorís pride

Nine years ago you had hope in your life
Nine years ago you had hope in your living
Nine years ago you were brought in this world,
now youíre kicking and screaming

Nine years ago there was hope in your life
Nine years ago there was hope in your life
Nine years ago you had hope in your life...

Walking the streets in the morning
Sixteen, and ďI just donít careĒ
Trying to survive, staying sane as a dropout
in a life that ďjust ainít goiní nowhereĒ
ďDonít talk about my tomorrow, just let me make it through today
ďI donít have nothing but sorrow and a future
ďthat is sliding ever farther awayĒ

Fading, fading, into the background shading
Waiting, waiting, where did it all go wrong?

Now twenty-one and searching, searching for consolation and
interpretation of life is strife and never an ending and
out on the corner is dreamland, sleep and peaches and cream
and itís only meanial cash to hash the world awake for a while

All alone in dreamland
On the sofa dreamland
Linger here in dreamland
Three more years in dreamland
Twenty-four in dreamland
Life is over, dreamland...

In the mirror he stares at himself through the haze
Eyes that have witnessed a life go to waste
Thoughts drifting back into younger days
He dreams of scenes from his childhood and says
ďhow little it takes...Ē
For all of life to go a different way
One note in the chord can change minor to major
The place where you land or your destinyís day
Comes down to the tiniest steps that you take

Drifting back in dreamland
Shifting sand in dreamland
Happy ending, dreamland
In beginning, dreamland...

Now twenty-one and searching, searching for consolation and
interpretation is life spent fighting never an ending but out on
the corner is dreamland, sleep, no peaches and cream and I have
the only control to hold the world at bay for a while

Walking the halls in the morning, sixteen and striving to care
Trying to survive, staying sane in this ghetto in a life he is
taking somewhere
ďThink about my tomorrow, donít talk about my today
ďI donít have anything but sorrow in my future unless I can
ďfind a better way.Ē

Pain is fading into the background shading
Waiting, waiting, someday will I belong?...

Nine years ago there was hope in your life
Nine years ago there was hope in your living
Nine years ago you were brought in this world, you were
kicking and screaming
But nine years ago there was hope in your life

Nine years ago there was no one there stealing
Taking away your new baseball and glove
Nine years ago there was no one to make you so angry
But maybe today you will learn how to rise above

This is the world you live in and this is the way to belief
This is the courage you gather to go to the house of the thief
This is the battle youíve chosen and this is the way it will end
This is way the door opens when enemy turns into friend

Nine years ago you had hope in your life
Nine years ago you had hope in your living
Nine years ago you were brought in this world, you were
kicking and screaming, but
Nine years ago there was hope in your life

Five years old, in first grade he can see the lines
he can draw the lines
Teacher looks up, tells him ďJust five minutes more youíll
have it fineĒ
Five years and five minutes more he sees that he
cannot draw the lines
Clenching to the crayon, ďI can do this I just need more timeĒ

Every minute starting out with childhood faith and dedication
ďWhat more can I do today, what more can I do today?Ē
Every minute setting up his own new expectations

Hey, where are you going Jessie,
Just who do you think you are?
Jessie wanders home not in a hurry
Stopping on the sidewalk, picking acorns from the street
Plants them in the front yard, whispers
ďone day you might be a treeĒ
Every minute starting up with childhood faith and dedication
ďWhat more could I do today, what more can I do today?Ē
Every minute setting up his own new expectation

Ten a.m., the baby stops crying
Little hands reaching skyward for the one not there
Mother tells him, ďI can hear youĒ

10:05, he feels her near him
Little hands reaching up to find her there
10:05, the baby stops crying

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World, Awake - 7:00

In the world today
there are people to hate the color of your skin
the color of your eyes
or maybe your shoe size
The language you speak
the company you keep
your accent, your earring
your badge, your rhymes
And for being so observant many people are so blind
And thatís just the way it is.

Is that just they way it is?  Or just the way itís always been?

Well thatís how itís always been.

Is that just the way itís been?  Or how we just allowed it to be?
This world has never been kind, but it could be.

Well out on the street I observe
a man who sees things from the opposite side
He walks alone unshaven in a 70ís shirt and heís humming
a tune from the Beatles or the Byrds or something
about a colorful freedom upon sparrowís wings
You can almost see the imagined guitar that heís strumming

While out on the street heís observed
by a man who sees things from the opposite side
He walks along clean-shaven in a button-down shirt
and heís stunning
Or at least he would be if he wasnít in a crowd of
hundreds of look-alikes as a bus growls loudly by
A black cloud left behind to remind me of whatís coming...

Another day of the same routine
With people like object only seen, marked and shelved
in each othersí memories

So out on the street I observe
a man, a few sidekicks and big picket signs
He knows of Godís judgement on man, and heís here to tell us
While on the small screen I observe
a man who had seen things from the opposite side
The rest of the story at 5, but first some items to sell us

Millions of shimmering wires
all interconnected to a numb generation
of thousands of look-alikes buying into the system
Millions of flickering fires, all doused by the downpour
of deafening droning
Deliberately dictating disinformation... whatever.

Another day of in-between
And people are only sometimes keen enough
to rise above their personal history

But at the dayís end, when the sidewalks have thinned
and the evening lightís dimming
Weíre left weary on the trails weíve blazed
We donít have the energy to form reconstructions
or fight the destruction of passing days
Lost in a haze, a meaningless gaze
Turning away from such better ways

So some people hate the color of your skin
the color of your eyes, or maybe your shoe size
The language you speak, the company you keep
your accent, your earring
your badge, your rhymes
A million observations, yet we never see the signs
And thatís just the way it is, yeah thatís just the way it is
And thatís the way itís always been
Thatís how itís always been, and
thatís how itís always been because we just allowed it to be.
This world still isnít kind...

But it could be.

Well, out on the street I observe
a girl selling flowers to pay for her school
Sheís trying to learn how to rise from the rut she was born in
While out on the street sheís observed
by a man who sees her from the opposite side
He crosses and smiles, puts a skip in the shoes that heís worn in

Well, out on the street we observe
a hundred exceptions to rules every day
While somehow we still cling to coloring in by number
If only these streets would awake
to the bleeding of thousands of hues and the blurring detail
and a colorful life greeting us from our slumber

A million faces never seen
A million friends that have never been
and a mindset that is finally clear and clean
...in a world awake.

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Two Little AwakeningsĖ 17:53

The hand reaches out, grasping at familiarity
Gently brushed away

Back to a familiar side, not the one he was hoping for
But then, he might be used to this by now

Maybe, he thinks, he should finally give in to reality
That things are only what they seem

Was I crazy to be asking?  Was I crazy to believe?
Was I crazy thinking there was something more than what Iíd seen?
Was it knowledge I was missing?  Is it stolen from the tree?
Is it hollow in beginning?  Is it really only me?
Wide awake, Iím not dreaming.
Iím not seeing things the same way anymore.
On the ground firmly planted
Iím not letting thoughts go drifting from this shore.

Today I begin to open my eyes
Today I will find what I must realize
Today I will live based in this life
Today I will separate truth from lie
And if what I have been telling myself gets shattered from within
I must learn to clear my mind and start again
And if what I was believing has been holding me so high
I must willfully come falling from the sky
Wide awake, Iím not dreaming.
Iím not seeing things the same way anymore.
On the ground, firmly planted.
Iím not letting thoughts go drifting from this shore

Iíll try to hold it in
Iíll try to hold it in
But you, of all people, should understand me.
After all, you were there when I hit this stage
And you, of all people to gently brush my hand away...

This love should be handled like a flower,
like it was the only thing that mattered in the world
And here we toss it about like weíre playing a competitive game
Nothing new to this world weíre bringing
Nothing new to the annals of singing
Just another solo flight someoneís winging, spinning along

You ask for a reason I cannot say,
it probably falls under the realm of psychology
And I donít know that much psychology
I only know me, and a little bit of you
And it might not be enough to get me through
The day I begin to open my eyes
The day I will find what I must realize
The day I will live based in this life
The day I might find itís all a lie

I try to hold it in, but Iím still left wanting
I try to hold it in, but the tears keep running
I try to hold it in, but the pain keeps coming
I try to hold it in, but it just wonít let me go
(Why did you let me go?)

Well maybe I am not so smart after all
After all, I thought this love was gonna save me
And maybe I find I am not saved after all, and it was
just a happy ending for a while

Silly me, silly me.  I am not at all where I thought I would be

And maybe this love is not the greatest of all,
after all its signs to unmarked destinations
And maybe to find a rest or to find your true calling
in the end itís just a path you go alone

Deliver me, deliver me, I am not at all where Iím supposed to be

So the moment you rest is the moment you fall
the moment your pride hits ten feet tall
The moment you see is the moment youíre blind
the moment you find youíve no more time

The moment you leave, the moment you...
Stop!  Iíll have no part of this.

The hand reaches in, grasping at familiarity
that canít be brushed away

Was I crazy to be asking?
Was I crazy to believe?
Was I crazy thinking there was something more than what Iíd seen?
Is it knowledge I was missing?

Is it really only me?

Yesterdayís end, a mind full of lies
Gone with the wind, just memory behind
Yesterdayís end, tomorrow disguised
The turning away of an angelís eyes

This love should be handled like a flower
like it was the only thing that mattered in the world
And here we sit as if itís already lost and weíre denying the pain
Nothing into the light weíre bringing
nothing new to the annals of singing
Just another blinded flight Iíve been winging, spinning along
You ask for a reason I cannot say
it probably falls within the realm of psychology
And I donít know that much psychology

What about me?
What about you?
What about me?
What about you?

And I canít believe this conversationís through

Please donít hold it in if youíre still left wanting
Please donít hold it in if the tears keep running
Please donít hold it in if the pain keeps coming
Please donít hold it in...
please donít let me go...

...

Finally tired, exasperated, he closes his eyes and turns away
Raspy voice ended its plea
In the hollow of the silence
In the blackness of the calm
He hears an angel start to speak

A hand reaches out, grasping at familiarity that it had brushed away
Back to his side, a single tear... and the words begin

ďSorry my love, sorry for silence
ďIím sorry it had to go this way
ďYou see, Iíve been searching, searching this world
ďTo justify giving my life away...
ďand I think I just found something to say:

ďToday I began to open my eyes to the touch of your hand
ďand I realized the farther I ran the further disguised,
ďit seems to turn into a lie

ďThe world offered no answers, the world offered no truth
ďMy heart offered feelings, but my mind wanted proof
ďWith no proof delivered the world said I was wrong
ďIt said Iíd been stringing myself along

ďBut in your song I find balance, and in your soul I find rest
ďAnd in your eyes is the mirror where I see myself best
ďAnd in your hands is an answer, and in your heart I can feel
ďAnd I finally decided what I see as real

ďToday I begin to open my eyes to the touch of your hand
ďAnd I realized the farther I ran, the further disguised
ďI will not turn into a lie

ďAnd if what I have been telling myself gets shattered from within
ďI must learn to clear my mind and start again
ďAnd if what I have been seeing has been causing us to die we must
ďwillfully walk on closing our eyes

Wide awake and dreaming, and not seeing things the same way anymore
Off the ground, firmly planted,
Iím not letting thoughts go drifting from this shore
Anymore.

Hands reaching out grasping at familiarity that wonít be brushed away
Back to familiar sides, the ones they were hoping for
They can get used to this now
Maybe, he thinks, this is reality...
Awaken to a dream

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From the Flowered Chair - 4:43

I don't think we read enough short stories
I don't think we play enough pretend
I think we might spend too much time thinking
and wondering how it all might end
I want to believe that we're all on a journey
a reason that life's worth living for
I want to have something too good to be true
to come through to believe in
I want to believe in something more

And I would run, I would crawl, I would stand until I fall
if I only had a cause that I could care
And I would laugh, I would cry, I would sing until I die
but tonight I'll just keep waiting in this chair.

I think I might go to Sunday service
and not even ask about their creed
Just look up at all the pretty arches
and see all the people on their knees
The beautiful singing, oh, and the order
and everyone thinking about their soul
And maybe this time they're truly caring
and nobody's hungry for control

But if I would act right now my feet would spin while I stay standing still
Even worse I might be looking like a fool
(well) Years ago momentum carried me until the laws and gravity
began to pull me down, and now I'm just hanging around...

So I think it's okay for a day to stop learning
I think that some ignorance is fine
I think it's alright to sometimes skip the evening news
and not hear a single word on crime
With all of a lifetime spent in spinning
along on the edge of a slippery slope
The only thing between me and falling
is slight possibility of hope

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Resolution - 31:13

I

The light goes on as any ordinary day, put on my armor
Sing along with any radio song, Iím on my way
Another day anew, the morning dew sticks to my shoe
The colors fade from a six oíclock sunrise
as Iím sipping last nightís coffee down the highway to another day gone

But Iím alright, living just this side of normal
I suppose that this is what the average man feels
No lows, no highs (set aside from Mondayís weekend) I suppose that I
should learn to be content with all the comfort that surrounds

Nothing magic, nothing tragic, coast along... the day is peaceful
Iím no hero, no discoverer of truths, but thatís okay
In my childhood they said I would be so special, I had promise
But growing older makes you fade into the shadows of the next sure thing

But Iím alright, living just this side of normal
I suppose that this is what the average man feels
No lows, no highs (set aside from Mondayís weekend) I suppose that I
should learn to be content with all the comfort that surrounds

And so began the beginning, the day my world crashed down
No fireworks, no fanfare, just a hunch I could not drown
And when I drove right past my exit, and I kept on headed south
Iíd say about ten years of things Iíd kept inside started pouring out

Hey all you little people on your way to find your dreams,
better hurry lest your destinies pass by!
Never stop to wonder what your daily lives could mean, itís after all not
who you are but what you buy
It seems that our legalities and even our moralities
are still based primarily on public opinion
that can shift like grains of sand in the desert wind and in the end
weíre left with no truth in our outstretched empty hands
But lots of dust in our eyes

But up ahead I see the highway, and up ahead I see the road
Taking me to freedom, lifting off my heavy load

Iím free, Iíll be free of that life
Iíve regained the drive
Are we free, are we free in this life?
Breathe, gain the drive

So what about the need for a deeper meaning?
And what were we hoping for?
What about the melodies that linger from old folklore?
What about the promise of progress and all the old stories they told?
What about who I would become, then, when I would grow old?

Lights are flashing, day comes crashing down to end my sentience
As Iím stopped by blue and white itís 10 a.m. and back to night
ďSon, where are you headed in this hurry?Ē
ďSir, just out of here.Ē
ďSon, I have to check if you are drunk.Ē

Then suddenly I realized the state I was in
was one I could not hope to overthrow
And after all experience the only fruit Iíd found
was some sureness in the place I could not go
Sureness of the place I could not go

Just where do I think Iím going?
Where have I really gone?
A quarter-century, and yet Iím not sure right from wrong...
And maybe all these people who donít seem so little anymore,
Maybe they know something I donít
And maybe they feign ignorance as their way to survive
And maybe now I wonít

Is the end the beginning?
The breakthrough breaks you down
Is happiness forever lost with knowledge found?

Who should be my hero now that I admit Iím lost?
Truth come forward, I am begging you
I can hear the voices but their words are too obscure
Leaving me unsure what I should do

Prophets on the radio, I always wanted to join you
I thought in you Iíd find my true home
Until I tried to reach you and I found but a facade
Utopia this world has never known

I am not the optimistic boy I used to be
Friends say I look different without a smile
Iím not sure just who to blame - human nature, you, or my ignorance
But donít you tell me not to touch that dial

What have you to tell me that weíre not already shown?
Why this mass attention to your thoughts?
Well do you really claim that you have found some new idea
that Jesus, Ghandhi, Martin Luther King had not?

Well all we need to know weíve ignored for years
And somehow some keep hope (mine has disappeared)
This is my fear - most will never change until a threat upon their lives
ďHow this generation always seeks a signĒ was said by someone wise
...who they killed two thousand years ago

And somehow this world keeps moving on
Cars blur rushing by my window
Nightfall approaches
A coldness stings my skin


II

Iíll turn around the car, if nothing more
Start back toward the safety of my bedroom -
The only thing Iím sure of now.
With the only cause left for me tonight
as to soothe my aching head

So now I begin my slow descent into madness
As I see my life will never align with the ways of society
Knowing that Iíve limited this lifespan
By giving up the ways of this world

Well some would call this ďburning the candle at both endsĒ
Iíll just call it ďdropping it into the fireĒ
Spend my nights with broken delusions and alcohol
And if I die before I wake, who cares.

I step outside, the airís so thick with mis-information
I almost feel Iím swimming in gel
And those who try to see beyond all this to a meaning
are left with saddened faces, empty shelves
Hey all these modern pressures they say turn off your brain
but now it has become my fate to see
whether it is nobler to suffer things and harrows
or by opposing die in futility

Well what am I to do, what am I to be, how am I supposed to calm these feelings?
Where am I to go, what else is there to know?  My mind is reeling
What am I to try, what am I to buy, how is it supposed to seem appealing
When nothing here even seems real?

They steal away your consciousness, ability to think
And push you all around until youíre standing on the brink
of a breakdown, I takedown each moment in lies
Compile my thoughts on the page (into rage)

And as I contemplate my recklessness
The way Iíve wasted countless years
My soul cries a song of sadness
A lullaby, a sweet farewell to childhood

A little moment changes everything
Yet most of the time you donít realize Ďtil itís over
Yet as the hours pass by one by one
itís still in the front of your mind
Such a simple little statement,
ďTry to be the one that youíd respectĒ
Yet somehow its weight escaped me
...until now

And now like a floodgate open wide
I see whatís been missing deep inside
I have been needing integrity of soul
The one thing thatís left in this world that I still control

Well Iíve been so quick to give in to the ways of this prescribed life
To go through the motions and die with indifference
And itís so easy to turn off your brain
And turn on the prophets who say ďjust add waterĒ

but Hey, this is not what lifeís about!
And this is not what it could be
And even if I cannot change the world
At least I can still set my own soul free


III

All of me in Resolution
Try to see beyond confusion
Step to moving on
All of me is led by heart
And all of will be no part of everything thatís wrong
I wait, I see, everything will becoming clearer now
I wake, open eyes
I see meaning, everything is only whatís inside of me
And so I clear my mind

Apology for yesterday, I
was to weak in will to call
But Iíll be alright now

In the end of beginning
Rebuild the broken down
With hopefulness forever gained in what Iíve found

I am not the optimistic boy I used to be
But nor am I an old man filled with hate
Iím not sure just who to be but at least gone is ignorance
And now it all comes down to hope and faith
Prophets (profits) on the radio no longer hold appeal
The mediaís devolved to sordid screams
That only serve as detours from the real and true ideal
Like what ďabundant lifeĒ might come to mean

Well all I need to know Iíve ignored for years
Somehow now keep hope from disappea-
ring in my ears is the wake up call thatís been sounding all along-
the wall is the message (board) ďboredom kills the mind
or saves us all...
Depending on whatís in the soul.Ē

And somehow Iíll keep moving on
Every day this battle
Morning approaches
Innocence again

I turn the key, the car begins to roll
Onward toward the new and the familiar
I start the breaking day in Resolution
Here I go, again, for the first time

The light goes on as any ordinary day, put on my armor
Sing along with any radio song, Iím on my way
Another day anew, the morning dew sticks to my shoe
The colors fade from a six oíclock sunrise
And Iím sipping on philosophy and down the road ahead of me is dawn

And Iím alright, living just this side of normal
I suppose that this is what the average man feels
No lows, no highs, set aside from Mondayís weekend
I suppose that I could learn to be content with all the comfort
that Iíve found

I have spent too many days walking through this darkness
Waiting for a change to bring me light
Now Iíve seen what hope can do, and yet Iím hopeful anyway
Innocence will bring me back to life
This is not about the world, this is personal
Itís about the way Iím handling this life
I wonít wait for change to happen, I wonít wait for bile to warm me
I will fan the fire of living, I will not grow cold conforming
I will try to tread more lightly on the people Iím around
I will try to push on forward even if some beat me down
I will live as one triumphant or Iíll die without regret
I will wake up new and breathe the life I havenít started yet
Singing in the melody always there before me
Finding strength to carry on once more
When hate is gone the soul will shine
Iím hoping in its glow weíll find a long-lost open door

Someday we may live as one in this Resolution
Until that day Iíll try to live life pure
When hate is gone the soul will shine
Hereís hoping in its glow weíll find a long-lost open door

Hereís to the long-lost open door.



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Special thanks to Christopher Frick for the transcript.