a.m. on a Tuesday (10:47)


Look at the weather,
another rainy night.
Seems like I never
quite got the timing right

'cause every face I see I love I've seen now start to frown
my mighty intuition always brings the crashing down
a million situations could have gone the other way
but led to now

Where are you, father?
I needed you today.
The last drop of spirit
evaporates

Muscles sore, I've lost the war within this weathered skin
inner core so old and bored, so how could I begin
to laugh; to play, when present's plagued with failures past again
replayed

I remember amber in my dreams
the warmth of radiant sunlight beaming
god, you know I waited for that day...
I never thought I'd watch it slip

but now I'm lost in endless skies of grey
where's that hummingbird?
well, I can only say,
"I remember amber in my dreams..."

What does it take to make a man lose hope?
Is it a violent situation?
What does it take to make a man lose all hope
an overlord's intimidation?

Or could it be enough to feel a lack of presence at his side
a sense of isolation with no galaxy more wide
as statistical prediction and 30 years' experience collide

If you're gonna help me, help me now
I fear I haven't got much longer
If you're gonna help me, make it now
before I'm permanently scarred
each day it's getting harder
to reach inside, set pain aside and sigh and find the might to sing out

One more for freedom
one more for beauty
one more for moving on

and sing out one for god's children
here's to tomorrow
and old-fashioned love songs

But if you're gonna break me, break me now
I see no point in further waiting
If you're gonna break me, do it now
what should I be anticipating?

Another year when politics divide and drag us down?
Another night my love and I just can't find common ground?
Another prayer, "I need your voice"
without a single sound...

This is not an ultimatum - I've nothing left to bargain
All I bring is weariness and longing
Am I asking the wrong questions? is there something you can give?
is there any real companionship - the bread by which I'd live?
'cause it seems so far beyond my grasp
and your silence says it is.
Yet for one last chance to see the son
I'd raise my voice with his

and sing a last prayer for freedom
a last prayer for beauty
a last prayer for moving on

and sing out one for god's children
"here's to tomorrow"
and old-fashioned love songs

so here goes one for god's children
here's to tomorrow
an old-fashioned love song


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Song to the Sky (22:26)


Somewhere in the dark
in this solitary
lingers one last cry out to home

if I could explain
if you'll only listen
even if you already know

as I envision
all the years I spent in solitude

Somewhere in this cry
my song to the sky
the spark of hope survives in essence revealed

Lost here with no guide
needing my companion,
could we share a smile & start to heal?

and end this black season
of the years I spent in solitude
all the years I kept myself from you

from you

...

Nature sings the melody of love beyond the veil

...

and all these visions
are a line that leads me back to you
a sign these darkened days are through
in your song this aching soul is soothed

with you

...

"Don't give up hope
in an endless waiting
don't give up ways
the world might betray

don't you know, time
is an endless river...
circles around to return one day"


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Daydream (3:33)


Walking slowly down the shore
by your side in a daydream
Laughing quietly as before
here you hide in my daydream
Bar the world out, lock the door
for a while in this daydream

In a daydream everything is real
you only feel what young hearts feel
time is not required to heal
the never-lost
and you're never left
alone

Innocence sways like your dress in the breeze
fragile and beautiful
Life in the arms of the sky
Trust in the elements - the sea, sand, and fire
for how else could innocence thrive?

And I dream everything is real!
Only feel what young hearts feel.
this hurting's gone - it's time to heal
you're never lost
and you're never left
alone.


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Scratching the Black (4:42)


The blackness is like heroin
it draws you in
over and under
again and again

And your friends - they all love the work you do
'cause they're fiends, too
and their stories are told in eloquence by you

Soon you can't break out and you can't break free
'cause you're known for being down
and you've become what you prophesied
Yeah, you've become what you prophesied

Try to raise an eye,
lift a corner of your mouth in a smile
and suddenly
you're cast from the warmth of the circle that swayed you to sleep
with what's become your song

And even if the words are "you're dying, you're dying... you're dying..."
the melody's sweet so you soon stop trying
Return to the comforting blanket of darkness again

Everybody holds the trodden-down
when the mirror reflects their own face
But this polarized frailty sustains for a while
then cracks under its own weight

And there are the lucky
and there are the dead
and there are the changed

Change means denying all feeling at first,
because all you first feel is the black
And to rip out this core inner longing
is just like you're peeling the spine from your back

And don't look for help from the ones left behind
as you scratch your black sheen into grey
See, it's harder for them, now, without you
to keep polishing the drain

But the idolized dead don't return for their bows
and the dead are the lucky - a few days from now

And it hurts but I'm trying.
I'm trying.
I'm trying...
when this melody's gone, maybe I'll stop crying
I'm burning this blanket. I'm blank
but I'm starting to mend.

It's time to be my own friend.


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Supernova (7:12)


(Instrumental)


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Distilling the Mystery (2:34)


Night after night
watching the flashing lights flicker
wave after wave, the
passionate fear flailing quicker than clear thought could flee

I clamp down my own chains
deep six my own brain
spiral myself into melancholy
standing still
distilling the mystery

I chose what I sought
& I thought the unknown made me suffer.
And as for ideals, well,
I had to chase after my supper. (thought, stop pestering me!)

but still, there's this hunger
maybe, I wonder,
something’s gone missing - now what could that be?
spirit lost
in distilling the mystery

night after night
teeming though I saw no glimmer
light still remained
only my sight had grown dimmer, but just turn the key

& here lies a sparkle
out of the dark all this
beauty comes beaming from where we don’t see
so alive
instilling a mystery


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Lotus Victorius (8:13)


(Instrumental)


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Learn to Love Rain (2:16)


Life, the great mystery, sprawled out before us
begging us for just a moment of time...
If the conclusion were scrawled prematurely
the story would surely become less sublime.

So it's been said by the poets of ages
the pages revealing today's still the same
The dread lighting streaking's just ancient ones speaking,
"You'll understand, son, when you learn to love rain."

...you'll understand sun when you learn to love rain.